High Expectations and Low Patience (Please Excuse My Ramblings)

 

At least three times a week, someone in my office or out in the streets asks me, “You think you are the shit, don’t you?” I’ll usually say “Yes… Yes I do. Thanks for noticing.” I mean seriously, if I don’t think that I am, then who will? I don’t go around verbally reminding people that I think I am, because true swagger is very quiet. I will catch your eye by silently entering a room and having a seat. You can’t help but notice me; I don’t blend in well. I’m not arrogant, just confident.

I guess the evil looks and snide comments I get from people on the street come from the fact that some see me as an “atypical black man”. Many expect a black man to not have a firm grasp on proper sentence structure. (Now don’t get me wrong, because I can get down with the street vernacular too, but I know when to turn that it off). Some see me as trying to be white when they catch me mingling with a bunch of white folks at a local pub, or when they see that my clothes aren’t three sizes too big. I wear a suit everyday when I really don’t have to because I understand how important appearance is. I don’t want to come off as your typical guy; I want to stand out in a crowd. I hate mediocrity. I am a stickler on how I’m represented, and how others represent me. I will also let you know if I don’t like the way I’m being treated by you. I’m always a gentlemen, and I guess I expect certain things from people because of how I treat people. With all of that said, I will give you some scenarios, and I will tell you how I handled them. After I handled the situations, I was called and asshole after each one, or at least stared at as if I had a booger:

Scenario One: I met this young lady on the Metro one morning. She was tall, light-skinned, fine ass all outdoors, her gear was tight and had a body like Jessica Biel. The thing that really attracted me to her was that she had a very inviting aura about her. I think is was her pleasant face. She wasn’t looking at anyone in particular, but had a smile on her face that said, “I like to meet new people, so I’ll talk to just about anyone.” I decided to see what the steelo was looking like, so I approached her. And we hit it off. I slid her the business card and we talked for a week or so before we went on our first date.

We decided to go to McCormick and Schmick’s, so I picked her up around 7:00 on a Saturday night. When I came to her door, she was on her cell phone. I’m thinking, “No biggie, she’ll get off by the time we get to the car.” WRONG! Aiight, so the ride to the restaurant was about 30 minutes, and she was on the phone for about 25 of those minutes. Apparently, Taekwondishaya’s baby daddy got locked up again, and she just found out that she was pregnant with his fourth baby. So, we “small talked” for the rest of the ride and actually had some good conversation at the dinner table.

Things were going well until this dude walked over and was like, “Renee, what’s up girl!” She jumped up, and gave him a hug. (No biggie, because I’m always seeing some random girl that I dated while I’m out with a new thang). So, instead of introducing me to bruh, she says, “I’ll be back,” and rolls over to the bar with cuz. Five, ten, fifteen, twenty minutes roll by, and homegirl is still at the bar getting mad cozy with dude (knee-rubbing and the whole nine). By then, the server had been to my table four times to see what we wanted to order. The last time around, I told the server that we decided not to eat, and I gave him a twenty for his troubles. I got my coat, jumped in my ride and left her rude ass at the bar.

About twenty minutes later, she called me yelling, “Where the fuck did you go?!” I told her that I was glad that she hooked up with her long lost friend, so I left because I didn’t want to step on any toes.

“What!? How the fuck am I supposed to get home?”

“Dude can’t give you a ride?”

“Naw, he didn’t drive. Why the fuck did you do that?!!!”

“Ay sweetheart, the train is 2 blocks from the restaurant. I heard it’s nice this time of day…”

Aww man, homegirl called me all types of “bitch ass niggas” that night. That was our last date. I mean, I like to think that I’m a gentlemen and all, but shorty was out of pocket and inconsiderate. Leaving a damsel in distress like that was probably not the nicest thing to do, but fuck that shit! She had it coming. Was I wrong? Do I expect too much from folks?

Scenario Two: Some friends of mine were having a birthday dinner for me a few years back, and the dranks were flowing. I brought this young lady that I had been dating for a few months with me. I had already told her how arrogant and ignorant one of my friends (ex-friends; we’ll call him Derrick) was, but I had assumed that the stuff that I told her about his attitude was in confidence. When they were introduced, she said, “Oooohhhh. So this is him? Yeah, I’ve heard alot about you!” So, I tried to play it off, and I said something like, “Yeah bruh, I told her how hard you are on the ladies.” We left it at that.

Aiight, so some of the fellas (including myself) get into a pretty deep conversation about religion. The conversation goes on for about 5-10 minutes, and homegirl, who had already had too much to drink (and is slurring her words by now) says, “Why don’t y’all talk about something else?! Something I want to talk about!” WTF? Get in where you fit in. We were having an intellectually stimulating conversation, and plus it was my birthday. That’s the type of shit I do on my birthday cuz I’m boring like that. Shit…

She then throws her arms in the air and says, “I’m going to the bar.” And I’m thinking, “What the fuck ever. Shit…Peace.” By the time she comes back, it is almost time to end our evening. She tells us that she has had too much to drink (no shit), and that she was a tad bit scared to drive 30 minutes to her house. I think something was wrong with my car, so I couldn’t take her home. Plus, she couldn’t stay at my house because I believe at the time I was temporarily staying at my Mom’s crib. She then says, “Outblandish, why don’t you let me leave my car at your house, and Derrick can take me home.” I’m like, “Naw, that’s alright. We’ll figure something else out.” But she wouldn’t let it go. She kept saying over and over again, “Derrick should give me a ride home.” By now I’m thinking that, “I need to cut this bitch off. She doesn’t know what to say out of her damned mouth!”

You see, I told her before that night that Derrick lived around the corner from her. And as I said before, dude can be a tad ignorant at times. So, I knew for a fact that dude was going to blow this shit up into something that it wasn’t. I honestly don’t think that she was trying to get it on with Derrick, but I knew that:

1. He was going to take it as her offering up the coochie. Or:
2. He was going to tell people that my game was slipping.

Either way, she should’ve seen that I was totally against the idea of my friend taking her home. Needless to say, I let her have it when we were alone (I don’t remember how she got home, but I’m sure she ended up driving). I let her know that I’m big on representation, and that she didn’t represent me well that night. We didn’t see each other for a while, but it eventually worked out. I found out years later that Derrick told a third party that he could’ve “fucked my girl if he wanted to.” Do I expect too much from people? Do I think too much of myself? Do I take myself too seriously?

My issue is that I expect people to have common sense. I also expect them to be considerate, because I try to be. I guess I’m old-fashioned like that. But, I’m really learning that common sense is infinite, meaning that my common sense might be totally different than yours. Sometimes when you say that people lack common sense, in all actuality their common sense makes perfect sense to them. And some people are just dumb as rocks…No getting around that. And now that I’ve read this post over, I realize that I am probably an arrogant, pompous asshole. Sue me…